A Little Mix-up
by PhoenixGuy
Summary: After a raid on a Chaos Insurgency farm house in rural Idaho by MTF Epsilon-6 or ("Village Idiots") for a crate of stolen SCP 1471 phones our brave red shirt,my have lost his phone but permanently gained a "friend",so now our brave boy has to survive 3 months of terrifying and lewd bullshit! !Going under Construction!
1. Chapter 1

***PLEASE TELL ME IF I GET ANYTHING WRONG LIKE SPELLING THANKS AND ENJOY***

* * *

**A **"_**Little"**_ **Mix-UP**

Human=text

**[Computer=text]**

_**M**_**A**_**L**_**0**_**=text**_

_**("DREAM"=text)**_

'Self thought'=text

**{RADIO}=text**

The time was not important to Jackson, Sleep now there's something that he found the most important, But sadly he didn't get a lot of that this week. If you want to know why then all you need to do is look to everyone's favorite pieces of shit, The chaos Insurgency.

So here's a little bit of background, four months ago the foundation lost a very important crate, the crate was 4 ft by 4 ft wide and tall. Inside that crate was a metal container containing hundreds of phones each one linked with scp-1471, and Jackson had the Good Fortune of being apart of the team that was going to be sent in to retrieve it.

So what that means is constant drilling, constant training, and of course a little bit of surprise gunfire, what was that team you ask well it was none other than the 'Village Idiots' They were nothing more than a bunch of highly trained rural & suburban rednecks hailing from god knows where.

As for the ranks you had the stereotypically pissed off Commander Jenkins who had pretty much fought himself out every situation, you had the lieutenant Seymour who is pretty much the naggy one that told you to wake the fuck up whenever you were trying to not die of sleep deprivation.

You had the totally not stupid Sergeant Kilroy who was apparently more important than you because he shot an SCP in the head randomly and killed it, And last but not least you had the red shirts, I mean operatives Basically the grunts of the operation you know, the ones who wouldn't be missed if they got shot in the face died horribly to an SCP or got turned into something by an SCP then got shot in the face by a random operative who then got promoted to Sergeant, totally not angry about that.

All in all, the odds were heavily in your favor, now that brings us back to the one thing Jackson couldn't get out of his mind, sleep. The raid was going to begin in about 3 hours. So Jackson had the intelligent idea of passing out in the APC. That is where our story begins, let's start the show.

_**Jackson POV***_

**(It was dark, It was too dark for Jackson's liking. He felt like he was being watched and all he could hear was the screaming, the running and trickling of water coming from the roof above his head.) **

**(Jackson didn't know where he was but he knew what it felt like, It was cold and wet kind of like a prison that has been rundown for years. Ever so slowly, his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he began to see things like the moonlight trickling in through rusted holes in the roof. But that doesn't make any sense, none of this made sense how could it be raining yet the moon is out? It would be best if he didn't question this place.)**

**(There were broken mirrors and shattered glass all over the place. This dark yet moonlit world could have been fine, had it not been for the sounds that we're coming from the other rooms, In some rooms he heard screaming and in others terrible grizzly noises of slashing meat hitting the ground with a liquidy sound and the pitter patter of naked feet on wet concrete.)**

**(Then there was his room, why did his room not have an eldritch abomination in it? Why was he not being slashed to bits? Why was he not running in a small confined space? Jackson thought about these questions thinking about them uncontrollably, until the room started to get ever so smaller and smaller cramming him into a tight box, he fought desperately to escape its confounding restriction. He wanted to wake up. He needed to wake up. WAKE UP!)**

Jackson shot up from his seat in the armored vehicle, 'Fuck' he thought to himself as he looked at his arm and watched it as it jittered about.

"let me guess pre-fight jitters?" Quickly looking to his left to meet the voice, he found it belonged to one of the privates who is in full face mask and chrome goggles.

"Yeah something like that" Jackson said as he quickly straightened himself out and turned to face the young man.

"Yeah I used to get that, then I started to read more books and here we are, getting a full 8 hours a night." the young private confidently said.

"Oh yeah,what books you read?" Jackson said not really paying attention.

"Oh well I read all sorts of-" he started to say.

"It was a rhetorical question kid, I really don't care" Jackson said, interrupting him mid-sentence.

"Oh that's okay, I'll tell you about it later by the way my name is Coal, what's yours?"He said back to him happily as ever.

"Um ok it's Jackson, if you don't mind me asking, why are you so happy I literally just cut you off mid-sentence?" Jackson asked the strange private.

"Oh well my mom says, the people who are rude, are just sad people in need of a friend and you seem a bit rude so I'm going to be your friend!" the overly ambitious Cole replies back.

'Oh please God no' Jackson and internally thought. "Okay How about we stop this conversation here and if we both survive the raid you can tell me all about your books, okay?" Jackson quickly sad hoping and praying somehow he gets shot.

"Oh boy I can't wait to tell you about the new Dragon Rider series!" almost as quickly as he started the conversation he ended it by staring blankly into the cosmos

Jackson Sighed to himself and wondered if this guy was an SCP and if he needed to report him, looking down he checked his watch to see what time it was.

**:2:57:**

"Fuck" He whispered underneath his breath how do he really spend all that time talking to that kid? Quickly checking his gear to make sure it was in top shape before his work began, he sat back down after he was done making sure everything was ready. After this was done he looked down to check the time again.

**:2:59:**

Right as he looked up Sergeant Shit Stain came back, he stepped into the parked armored vehicle.

"All right shit fuck's the Commander has Informed me we will begin the attack in 5 minutes it will be a two-pronged assault R1 team checks the farmhouse, R2 team checks the barn, be on the lookout for traps these guys might be insurgents but that doesn't mean they're not retarded, And for fucksake if you find the crate fucking point it out, let's move out!" He held in his usual snarky 'I'm better than you' voice.

One by one, everybody left the vehicle leaving only the driver, afterward everyone devolved into their groups. Jackson was assigned to R2 so he went with the small 5 man group.

After a short hike the men arrived at the farm each one taking a crouched stance in the crop field nearby. scanning the farmhouse they noticed multiple centuries waiting outside, a few moments later R2 begin to move toward the barn, noticing a little resistance they notified R1 "R1 you got multiple hostile centuries outside, over''**{Thanks for the heads up R2, over} **right after this exchange both teams set up outside of the respective locations.

As Jackson waited for the queue, he glanced down to his watch

**:3:05:**

**'**Fuck' he thought to him self, 'they're going to be late.' and as if right on queue

Multiple flares fired in the air from the other side of the plantation, almost like magic Insurgent body's started dropping to the ground. Taking that as the hint R2 quickly crouch walked to the backside of the barn, removing any disgusting excuse for a human that came into their line of sight.

Quickly Jackson took point on the door, Followed by the rest of R2.

"on the count of 3, 1...2...THRE-!" Right as he was about to finish Counting, the door swung open from the inside, and a hand grenade flopped out.

"BUG OUT!" Almost immediately the rest of his team almost instantaneously disappeared leaving him with two split second choices, option A he could backpedal himself and probably lose only a leg, or option B rush into the fucking barn.

The next few moments were complete chaos, Taking option B, Jackson dived straight into the barn putting himself in reckless danger, Then came the explosion that somehow magically propelled him into the closest heavily reinforced box.

All around him things started to 'Go to shit' as some would say if not from the explosion of the hand grenade and the random fire of insurgents plus the barn was on fire now 'that's always nice' he had no idea how that happened, and to top it all off, He was pretty sure he lost his phone.

"Okay you jackasses, let's see how you like getting shot at!" picking up his rifle he aimed for the closest insurgent, setting his sights on an insurgent with an AK and gas mask trying to hide behind some crates, Jackson quickly pulled the trigger on him allowing a storm of 5.56 pretty much obliterate the guy, then he quickly switch targets then open firing again. This process was repeated about 5 more times until he was pretty damn sure everyone was dead.

Upon checking his pockets to see if he truly lost his phone, "fuck me and call me a pickle were it that thing" Frustrated he decided to traces his steps only to discover.

Phones, phones everywhere he looked they were all over the place, everywhere he looked, he quickly traced the source of all the phones to a military grade case. The same one he dived into just a few moments ago.

quickly he searched for his phone in the countless stacks remembering he had a black Banana Note 3, he tried to search for only Banana Note's, finding the one that looks identical to his he quickly stuffed it back into his fatigues. Picking himself up he began to shove the remaining phones back into the 4ft by 4ft crate.

The 4ft by 4ft crate...military grade…heavily reinforced…..full of phones...Jackpot, this was it, this was the thing they were after. "Fuck Yes!" he yelled into the air drowned out by gunfire and we'll... actual fire.

forcing open a large barn door he met up with his group, after meeting up with them they were all severely surprised Jackson survived that explosion and had found the crate.

After A few more minutes of a heavily one sided firefight and one or two more kills to Jackson's name the commanding officer checked on the location that Jackson had pointed out, upon finding all the phones he was impressed and gave him a well deserved field promotion, afterwards a cleanup crew was issued and well everything was cleaned up, bodies were buried and any sign of firefight was hidden to the public using a firework accident as the cover up for the burned down farm.

finally stepping back into the armored vehicle he was quick to check on his phone trying to turn it on it showed him that the battery was dead, realizing that this was the end of his contract for the year, he was quick to go on his vacation thanking God and Jesus for allowing him to survive one whole year with terribleness that was his job, 'Three whole months to himself' he thought about it the entire way back to Site 15, 'three months... three months of perfect bliss, three months of sleeping in, three months of perfectness' and nothing in this world not even a SCP could possibly ruin it!

"Oh hey Jackson I heard you're a Corporal now, good job you must know I'm really proud of you!" chimed the same annoyingly young voice from earlier.

'No fucking way, he did not survive!' Jackson immediately turned to his left to meet a slightly more bloodier version of Coal. "JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!" Jackson yelled out in complete dumbfoundment

"Oh you know I just shoved a grenade into someone's mouth, you should have seen the look on his face it was hilarious." he said with a slight coyness."want to hear about my books now?"he said with what can only be described as the most psychopathic grin in the world.

"Sure" Jackson squeaked out slowly sinking into his seat to try to put as much distance from him and this monstrosity of a human being as possible.

* * *

*** I HOPE THIS WORKS***


	2. Chapter 2

***PLEASE TELL ME IF I GET ANYTHING WRONG LIKE SPELLING, THANKS AND ENJOY***

**Ps ever get kicked in the balls by a new deadly virus... **

**Ya me neither**

* * *

**A **"_**Little"**_ **Mix-UP**

Human=text

**[Computer=text]**

_M_**A**_L_**0**_**=text**_

_**("DREAM"=text)**_

'Self thought'=text

**{RADIO=text}**

Five hours, Five long miserable and insufferable hours, 5 hours of listening to this Dumbfounding man-child go on and on about his dragon books. He was the last gate to Freedom wasn't he? The last test of a man's courage, like God himself has chosen this one person to test his willpower and to see if he would crack or not.

"-and the princess and the prince lived happily ever after!" Coal wildly exclaimed happily, or was it Cole? Jackson really didn't have the mental capacity to care for the semantics of how to spell people's names in his head sometimes.

"Are you done?, please for the love of God tell me you're done." Jackson whined out like a hurt animal.

"Yep, that's the entire 5 Hour trilogy!" Cole said 'as a matter of factly' as possible.

"Wait, you are? Oh my lord there really is a God, thank you sweet merciful heaven!" Jackson said as he put his hands together in a Praying motion and looked toward the roof of the APC.

"now to the prequels, yay!" Coal said matching the excitement from before.

Jackson frowns."I officially renounce my faith." he said, dropping his face into his hands.

"Now it all started with the Grand Master wiza-" Cole was cut off by the loudspeaker to the delight of Jackson.

The driver's voice shouted out over the intercom. **{Alright everyone we're here, get to the armory and drop off your equipment.}**

"I Accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior!" Jackson yelled as he ran out of the APC.

The next few hours went pretty fast for Jackson, after he left the APC, he left for the armory and dropped off his kit, then spent the next few hours of his life filling out random paperwork that really had no meaning.

"Ok gota fill this out." he calmly said to himself, completely oblivious to the woman creeping around his back. Slowly the woman crept into his office, ever so quietly to try and not alert the guy in front of her.

"Alright so 'How was your experience at the site?' Ok i guess, nothing really happened so that's a good thing." he said to himself typing his answer into the computer.

"AAAAAAH!"

"Hey Doc." Jackson replied nonchalantly not even turning around as he continued typing away on his computer.

"Oh come on that was good!" the Doc practically yelled.

"At least you're getting better, this time you got past the door frame without me noticing." he said to her in an encouraging tone of voice. Recalling the past times she had tried to startle him to win the bet the two made a while back.

"Ya ya whatever, any way what time are you leaving?" she asked Jackson. "And what did I say about calling me doc, you know it's Sarah."

"Why do you want to know?" he replied, ignoring her entirely when she brought up her name to him.

"Because I care about my friends." she said back to him, trying her best to give a sincere act.

"Oh really and it has nothing to do with trying to move into my workspace while I'm away?" recalling the past hundreds of times she's tried to steal it from under his nose.

"What?, I would never think about trying to take THIS room, don't be ridiculous" the Doc coyly replied giving off a smile that would match that of the devil himself.

"Yaaaa and the past hundred times don't count right?" Jackson said, finishing up the last bits of his paperwork. "Actually I have an idea, how about you can have the room for three months but you pay me fifty bucks."

"Wait really?, hell ya i'll pay for that!" the Doc yelled reaching into her pocket and pulled out a full fifty dollar bill.

"You just carry around cash wherever you go?" Jackson said, throwing a puzzled look at Doc as she handed over the fifty bucks.

"Well yeah, don't you?" Doc said, dumbfounded by the question. "No!, nobody should carry that much money on their person, ya I get maybe eight or five dollars but fifty?" Jackson said, disgusted by her as he grabbed the fifty bucks, closed out his computer and picked up his things from his office.

"Well I mean, it seems you're pretty happy with it." Doc said as she took a seat on his chair 'or well her chair as of now'.

"Yeah well I just made the fifty easiest bucks in my life so i'll be on my way."Jackson proclaimed smugly as he quickly left the room only to hear a muffled cry of success as he left.

**TIME**

**2:39-AM**

After packing his things and saying his goodbyes, he was finally ready to leave the most boring place on this side of the earth. Jackson stepped into the car lot from the elevator he was currently riding on to find his black sedan waiting for him outside of it, silently thanking the random chauffeur who brought it out of the maze it was hiding in he stepped back in to his car and began the exciting process of driving through the american midwest.

Oh my fun that he'll have

**You may now play 'On The Road Again' by Willie Nelson**

* * *

**Oh my dear God that took so long to do, don't know if it was a serious case of writer's block**

**or something else talking but something happened to stop me from writing this s*** at least I got it done at some point**

**Tell me if I made any mistakes oh and leave a comment**


	3. stuf

***Don't worry your little heads guys chapter 3 will be 2 or 3 thousand words long***

***i just had to get past that part***


End file.
